Scott’s Story

How did you get involved with All Kings?

A friend of mine brought me to the initial meeting, and I was in the process of trying to find a men’s group. When I saw All Kings, and came to the first meeting, it called to me directly. The premise of working with a diverse community of men, and specifically men who have been in the criminal justice system, men who have been systematically dehumanized through language and propaganda -- I wanted to contribute to that cause. 

Where were you in your life at the time?  

When I hit forty, I took a serious look at my life and came to realize certain relationships were toxic. So I did a huge transition and kind of started over. I began the process of owning that I was carrying a lot of childhood pain and so I started doing the work.

What do you feel like you’re gaining through this work? 

I’m getting the support of a group of men, and the ability to come together weekly and bring to the table whatever I’m going though, and I know it will be heard. And I get to be there for other men and see their journeys. It's not a one stop shop that just fixes anything. It’s a community where we can maintain and continue to push. 

You initially signed up to mentor. How come? 

I’m a little older. I’ve been around the block a few times and don’t have too many young people in my life that I can share and work with. And so I wanted to give back some of the things that I’ve learned on my journey and hopefully it'll have a helpful positive impact in both of our lives.

What’s surprised you about your experience as a mentor? 

That it’s not all good or all bad. It’s not one extreme or the other. We continue to ebb and tide, and there’s a flow. Some weeks are better than others and just feeling the need to stay consistent. And show up and be there. And however it plays out it, it plays out. 

How is being a part of All Kings impacting your life more broadly? 

It’s helping to call me to task. It’s helping me keep disciplined, to keep my word, to keep other people's feelings and relationships in mind. I’m learning to be more vulnerable and open in general, not as guarded. And it’s helping me stay aware on a basic level of keeping my agreements, and focusing on healthy communication. 

It’s also inspiring to be around younger people and their energy. They bring a lot of light and passion. That's sparked in me, keeping that flame alive. There’s also a satisfaction. I don't know what the impact will be of being in these men's lives, but I know its not detrimental. I know it’s more good than bad.

Tell us about your first weekend. What was that like for you?

It was adventuresome and healing, and clearing and forgiving. It was powerful to share with men and experience men being vulnerable and helping to support men on their journey, to bettering themselves. 

It was impactful for me in a lot of ways to remember qualities that I had at different times of life, and stepping back into them. It was healing to receive love and attention from men that reminded me of some of the male energy in my family, especially on my mothers side. It was powerful to meet Eldra, from The Work, and be in circle with him. I saw The Work and then experienced him in real life! And seeing the elders, people who have been doing this work for a long time -- their intensity and intent, and their willingness to learn in real time as well. It seemed like they were fluid in their steadiness. And it was amazing to see the relationships between fathers and sons, and brothers, and my own brother. The bonding that occurred. 

You’ve done other forms of self-development. What’s different about this? 

For me, it’s the unique combination of men from different backgrounds, different races, economic statuses, creating a language of love and respect, and a safe space where we can dig into stories, emotions, mindsets that we may not be aware of and allow ourselves to be vulnerable and be seen. When I see other men do their work it gives me assurances. It helps me understand that I'm not alone. I’m not on a solo journey, you know. A lot of men are going through similar stuff, working to be healthier and have more enjoyment. So it’s the community -- that's what’s the most real and powerful for me. Everyone is straight up -- being honest and supportive. I’d never experienced with other men like that, maybe even not with other people -- especially men. We can have a group that is a variety of races, and the love is the same.